2011-12-16

SOPA Clause

The SOPA legislation is worming its way through the US lawmakers.  Yes, I'm Canadian, but I know that if this law is passed our government, no matter which one we elect, will be bludgeoned into passing "harmonized" legislation.  It sucks, but that's just the way it is.  So, everyone needs to help the US citizens fight this thing.

Short of a bidding war for US lawmakers, which I doubt anyone besides RIAA and MPAA are willing to afford, the only thing I can think of is a meme that goes so viral that it gets picked up by mainstream news.  Something so big that it gets in the face of people that are still trying to figure out that new "E-mail" thing.  Something so popular that it will scare said lawmakers more than reduced campaign funds for the next election.

I think I've got it... "SOPA Clause!  He knows when you've been naughty, he knows when you've been nice..."  Fitting for the season, don't you think?  All we need to do is build a meme around this.  That's not too hard; the topic certainly supports it.  We need cartoons, songs, videos, photo-shopped pictures, and we need them quick.  I can't sing, I can't draw, but I can write, so here's what I'm talking about.  This is the script/layout for a short cartoon.  I hereby release this script as public domain.  Take it, re-post it, re-write it, claim it as yours, I don't care.  Just do something.

The script:

Background music is the Santa Claus song, "He knows when you've been naught, he knows when..." Words changed to Sopa Clause, etc.  Fades in and out through whole video.

Scene 1: 8 year old girl on computer - Barbie-type site.  Asks in forum (speaking as typing) "Where can I buy the Happy Girl song?.  Up pops an answer from Tinkerbell.... "Here's a copy..."

Scene 2:  Sopa Clause in his office, leafing through paychecks from RIAA et.all.  Alarm goes off - horns, big red "copyright violation" flashing sign.  Sopa whips his chair around, half second of frenzied typing, hits big red "Censored" button.

Scene 3:  Little girl's site replaced by SOPA warning.  She types/says "What's Sopa?"

Scene 4:  Long-haired 60's style hacker-type dude.  Short rant on evil Sopa... says "Download this to bypass the evil empire... but don't forget to hide your IP."

Scene 5:  Little girl says "What's an IP?"  Shrugs, goes back to original website, via Sopa bypass.

Scene 6:  Sopa Clause office.  Alarm goes off.  Big red "Terrorism Alert" sign.   He whips chair around and picks up the old-style rotary phone - yells distorted words.

Scene 7:  Swat team burst into little girls room, throws Abu Ghraib hood on her, zip-ties hands, and carts her off past parents, cowering behind the pepper-spray cop.  Parents ask "What did she do.... where are you taking her... how long before she can come home?"  All questions answered with dead-pan "Classified... National Security."

fade to Scene 8: Wizard Of Oz stlye room with Sopa Clause sitting on throne.  Array of pepper-spray cops, and all manner of "non-lethel" weapons on either side.  Parents cowering on floor below, asking same questions.  Sopa answers "Clasified, National security" to all.  Protestors break in... big fight.  Sopa loses.

Scene 9:  Sopa Clause and pepper-spray cops being led to airplane.  Route lined with protestors holding signs.  Signs say stuff like "We the people are the nation.  We're taking our security back!".  Sopa is put on an exile-flight to North Pole.

Scene 10: Cut to hacker dude, with best "Uncle Sam Wants You" pose.  Says "Hey Sopa, this is the Information Age.  The kids know when you're being naughty too."

Theme song picks up... "We know when you've been naught, we know when..."

The end.

There you go... could probably use improvement - go ahead, improve it.  Draw some cartoons if you can, re-write the Santa Claus song, record the voices and upload them... where?  Everywhere!  Spread the word, make a Youtube video, whatever.  Just do what you can to stop this stupid legislation now, before it's too late.